Self love over circumstance.

*This piece was written by me for a young lady that runs an app advocating health and wellness, confidence, bullying and more. The tone of voice is more feminine however all parts are still applicable to the male generation [da boiizzzz].

It’s kind of weird to think that in times like this, times when so much craziness and confusion is going on in the world that we can still find time to beat ourselves up about our bodies or insecurities, right?

We feel like we are meant to be so focused on keeping our distance from people and staying healthy and inside that it’s almost selfish to think about how you are feeling about the way you look right now or the outside of your body rather than the inside.

But the thing is, so many of us have been stripped of what we know. Whether it’s the gym, the social life (and social validation), the hair, nail, face and lash appointments, the cute dresses and leg lengthening heals. Whatever it is, we don’t have that at the moment and we don’t really know when we next will.

So it’s no surprise really that now more than ever we might be feeling a little not so okay in the body we live in, especially when we are stuck in four walls with multiple mirrors all day, everyday.

Many of us are alone more than ever, left alone with that voice that tells us that we are too big, too small, too soft or too anything. The voice that says we can’t, that says we are not good enough.

Unfortunately I am not writing this piece because I have mastered how to tell that voice to shut the f*ck up. I am not here to give you the special cure if you are stuck at home hating on your new, low maintenance, messy bun, pj loving, banana bread baking vibe. And honey, anyone that tells you they know how to silence that voice is probably lying. I have however learnt to listen to that voice that has been accompanying me for so long and learnt how to control it slightly better, rather than have it control me. I have popped that voice into the back seat rather than letting it take the wheel (cause let’s be real - it’s a shit driver).

The purpose of this piece is to help guide others that struggle with their little voice so that they can take control of their own lives not just whilst in iso but hopefully long term. I will be the one to let you know, you have got this and help you find the confidence to own who you are, anxiety and all. Self love is not cliche, it is crucial especially in a time like now when your thoughts are with you more than ever before. These tips will hopefully help you change your focus, sure don’t completely let go and stay in your pjs binge watching netflix eating choc bunnies every day (though I highly recommend doing this some days) but to just be a little kinder to yourself in a time where the only certainty, is how uncertain everything is.

Stay accountable & control what you can:

It truly warms my heart how much people are still moving every single day in their own way. The one thing that makes it a little easier to still focus on progress is having someone to keep you accountable. My mum and I send each other new exercises, my housemate and I walk at least once a day, I still see my trainer and bombard him constantly with questions and as much as it seems weird - I still take weekly photos. Not to be harsh on myself but more so to keep accountable and a reality check. I often think I look horrid at the time and then the next week I look back and think “Girl was you drunk? You look fab!”. I don’t rely on the scale, now more than ever however I am mindful of my movement and have my friends/family to keep me accountable to just move where and when I can. Just control what you can, get outside everyday and walk, move, stretch and glow. With even a little bit of endorphins pumping it’s impossible to not feel good in the moment.

Don’t like it? Change or create it:

Our paths are not written for us, we write them for ourselves. Science proves that we can create our own realities,our personality creates our personal-reality. So if we spend 90% of our time talking smack about ourselves and our bodies, they will listen and they will respond. We know that the future is not certain, so why would we not create one for ourselves which is exactly how we want it to be? Tell yourself you are a badass bitch and you have got this. Tell yourself that every single one of your “imperfections” is perfect. Your curves, your moles, your marks, your fuzzy hair and slightly lopsided smile. 

Attitude of gratitude:

It is impossible to be in a negative state when you are feeling grateful. You don’t need to rush around hugging trees but if you can be grateful for what you do have and focus on that, the things you think you don’t have won’t seem as important. For me I beat myself up about my legs being thicker - but if I did not have thicker legs, I would not have the peach I worked so hard at, I would not have my curves or my strength to run and kick. Find something, anything, every single moment of every single day and be fkn grateful for that. Whether it’s big or small. Be grateful that even though you don’t have a gym, you can bicep curl your beans and get outside and walk. Be grateful that although you may be single, you aren’t stuck in social isolation with a partner you aren’t 100% sure about. Be grateful that you have the ability to learn and grow and move in some way, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

And lastly… write it all out sistah:

If there is one thing I like to do more than talk and eat, it’s to write. I am an extroverted introvert, I don’t do well with being around people or expressing my feelings too easily however I do love writing it all down. Now more than ever, when that little LOUD voice is filling me with self doubt and self hate, I like to write it down to gain perspective. It’s like telling your best mate what’s going on in your head and as you write you think “wow, okay not cool, you are being one hell of a bitch to yourself”. Sometimes when you get in such a state of flow with writing, you feel like you can solve the world’s problems with what comes to your mind. Okay, maybe not the world’s problems, but at least some of your own. Write down what’s getting to you, even if it’s something small like “I feel like a round walrus because I can’t stop eating ice cream and waffles”. Firstly - what a delicious combo; secondly as you write it down you will feel almost automatic relief. Holding it in can be just as damaging as the thought itself. Release the thought to paper and you may find you release it in general. 

So there we go. I am no self love guru, I am not really a guru of anything but I know that life is so short and I chose to make the person I spend the most time with (myself) a freakin good chick that I love and support despite my circumstances. Remember to feel no guilt for feeling a little crappy at the moment, times are crazy but the one thing we can control is our attitude and our effort. Be okay with doing nothing some days and all the things on others. Just make sure that on each of those days - you chose to be kind to yourself and know that you are a warrior and you  have got this.

Much love,

Meg

Modern Day Warrior