YOU

Do you know the one thing we all seem to have in common around the end of December/start of Jan? It’s not that post Christmas puddin pudge that I am referring to. It’s the time where we all start to set and reflect on our goals. Even if you don’t make resolutions I am sure that you have thought, even briefly, about your goals for the next 12 months or even the next couple. But how many of us actually look at what our previous goals are and reflect on why perhaps we never achieved them in the first place? It could have been because of time, finances, people in our lives or a change of direction. Whatever it was just ask yourself - did you actually take a moment to reflect on this?

I partied my way into this year like Paris Hilton in the Simple Life days but then reality hit and I had to sit down and plan what it was I wanted to get out of 2020, the year  which we all seem to be expecting such big things from. 

I have some pretty big and scary goals for this year and some of them I also had last year yet seemed to not quite get there and tick them off. When I was thinking about why I had not achieved them I found myself listing the reasons (more appropriate word here is excuses) that I mentioned above. 

I had a moment of  vulnerability with myself, I had a moment where I slapped myself in the face (okay not really) with some cold hard truths. The reason I had not achieved my goals was not because of those reasons but because of how I had dealt with each of those things. Yes some circumstances may influence them however ultimately the one responsible for me being where I am and not achieving what I wanted to achieve, is me.

YOU my dear, are the reason you are where you are at, YOU are the reason you have been held back previously. It sounds harsh but think about it for a moment, or if it helps, let me list the reasons/excuses I use and show you my own ugly truth:

Relationships - The people in my life did not necessarily hold me back but the issue was that I prioritised the wrong ones. I spent time chasing the wrong relationships and the wrong sorts of people so I was not surrounded by those that may help me get to where I needed to be. Or I was searching for relationships (friendships included) in those people that were not quite aligned with the person I want to be. Values matter, match those values with yours and you will be one step closer.

I don’t have enough time/time got away from me - Sure we all have a lot to do. Some more than others. But we all have the same amount of time in our day, it’s simply what we chose to do with it. My truth here is that I did not put the time aside I needed to for achieving my goals. I prioritised the wrong things and ultimately lost the time to do those things that mattered. To be harsh with myself, I spent more time out drinking than out there thinking. I spent more time feeling fragile and tired than determined and empowered. Schedule in your time for what matters, whether it be to read, write, spend time with loved ones or to learn a new skill.

Finances - Okay so we don’t all earn the same. But the truth I had to tell myself was that although I may not earn as much as some, I still had power of what I did with the money I was earning. Did I put the money towards other things like fun new clothes and nights out? Or did I choose to invest in myself and ultimately, in my goals? When budgeting, allow for those treats but once you have also ticked off funding things which matter like exercise, self development, travel and good solid nutrition.

Self belief - That self confidence some people have that you think you don’t? You chose not to have that, you chose not to believe in yourself and you chose not to try to develop it or to do things to help you to love yourself. Allow yourself to think of someone close to you that inspires you, someone that you believe in. What qualities do they have that you admire? What habits do they have which you can mirror to develop a sense of confidence to help you reach your goals? We need to believe in ourselves as much as we believe in those around us. Have the confidence of a white mediocre man and rock who YOU are because there is no one like you. 

So there they are, just some of the excuses I came up with and the truths I showed myself through actually taking a moment to reflect. I encourage you to sit down with your reasons, sit down with what holds you back from achieving everything you want, and face it head on. Next year I know that I will sit in the same position and feel pretty smug because I let go of those excuses - I surrounded myself with the right people, I invested in the right things, I used my time wisely and most of all - I believed in the potential I have, I believed that I am pretty great and I will achieve some pretty great things.

Make 2020 about you, but the best kind of you.

MDW x